Inadvertent Intervals & Advice III: Sunday 10/17

I've been feeling great this week.  My worst run was my the race on the 9th, even that was a new PR, I've run my first 5 miler, and crushed my run in Umstead on Saturday.  Also, I hit a new weekly mileage total: 18 miles, so I knew that the bear was out there waiting for me and at some point he was just going to jump on my back turning one of my runs into a total grunt fest, but after running so well in Umstead on Saturday, I just couldn't bring myself to imagine that it would happen of Sunday.  Well, I am a frickin idiot! couldn't have been so wrong!  Like my Raiders, who were trying to put together back to back wins and did a face plant, my attempt to put together two strong runs in a row went nowhere quickly.  As soon as I got out of my apartment complex, the bear jumped on my back and demanded that I take him for a ride.  I struggled the through the first mile and a half of the run, but after stopping off at Hiro's work for a quick chat, the return trip home turned into an inadvertent interval workout.  I just couldn't get going and could feel that my quad was giving some serious thought to throwing a fit.  So this run turned into a run/walk with that mean old bear just laughing the whole way home.  Topping things off, the Raiders played a shameful game that just told me that it wasn't meant to be my day. 

Monday I took the day off and while reading through some of the blogs that I follow, I came to Scott's blog: 180 Day Experiment where he was asking for advice about staying motivated.  Scott and I know each other through a college buddy of mine, who is a good friend of his.  We haven't spoken or anything, but we follow each others blogs because we are both fighting the same fight.  He started out at 315 and is now down in his 260's, and I started at 316 and am now in the low 270's, so I can really identify with his struggle.  The main differences between us is that he adheres to a much more strict diet while, I don't follow a diet, but just try to eat healthy.  I understand the ebbs and flows of motivation.  I struggle with it from time to time as well, so I feel like it is a good time to talk about motivation.

I've been working out regularly for just around a year now, I started by taking morning classes, but I've transitioned away from taking classes and began running more as my interest formed around running.  Injuries have caused me to transition and change up my workouts, but I've been able to stay motivated because I  have expected this whole process to be difficult.  If it weren't difficult, more people would do this.  Personally, I needed something difficult in my life that was going to cause me to struggle and apply myself, and I have tried to embrace the attitude that whatever challenges come my way are only going to be temporary.  It is the same thing with running.  Crappy runs happen.  They are unavoidable and I just try to look at them as bear that has to be crossed every once in a while.  So, for me periods of waning motivation are just a natural aspect of this process.  I don't try to avoid them, push through then, or anything.  I just look at them as temporary and know that my motivation will return in due course.

Medical Report & Advice for Myself and Others Part 2: 8/14/10

I went to the MD yesterday, and my feet are mummified in tape.  He basically told me that I have a combination of plantar faciitis and Achilles tendinitis, and taped up my feet to give the tendon in the bottom of my feet some extra support.  He also showed me some exercises and stretches to use which I talk about in another post.  I've been dealing with these problems most of the summer, so I a really looking forward to moving past them, but I wanted to take sometime to share how I am dealing with all of this because injuries can be more mentally taxing than they are physically.  

The mental side of the weight loss / workout battle is much more difficult than the physical.  I've been stuck at my current weight for over two and a half months.  Also, I have been dealing with Achilles injuries for all of the time.  I have had some rough days where I have let my frustrations get to me a little, but for the most part, I have been able to keep my spirits up.  I have talked before on this blog about how I am an annoyingly optimistic person.  And that is true.  I am an optimist for the most part.  I have my bad days and crappy moments, but I just don't see the point in negativity because it doesn't lead anywhere.  I can get upset that my Achilles is messed up, and I can get frustrated that I can't get one stinking ounce below 270 lbs., but it won't change anything or make me feel any better, so I've decided not to go down that road for if I can avoid it. 

Honestly, these things are temporary frustrations, and life is way too short and often brutal to let them get me down.  Frayed Laces  has this great picture and quote on her blog.  It is her running with a quote that says: "There will be a day when you can no longer do this . . . Today is NOT that day!"  I love this idea, and I've thought about it a least once everyday since I saw it.  And, I don't limit the idea to exercise but extend it to life in general.  One day this frail existence that I call my own dear life will come to an end.  Fact.  So, I should do my utmost to enjoy it as much as I can.  Therefore I've decided that I need to Love this fight! Love the work, the struggle, the small rewards, the crap days, the shitty advice I give myself and others, the morning runs, time with my wife, the injuries, laying out my workout clothes, getting up at 5am, and I even need to love my Achilles pain!  If I Love every bit of this stuff, and I will come to love myself because it is all me. I am the one doing it. No one is doing it for me or to me!  No one is standing in my way. This is my life and how I choose to live it, so I need to love it and enjoy it!  Because one day I won't be able to do any of this . . . but today is sure as hell not that day.  It may be hard for some to understand that I love my Achilles injury, but I do.  Granted, I will be glad when it is healed and won't miss it one bit when it is gone, but I love Achilles injury because it is here challenging me, making me mentally stronger, testing my commitment to myself.  I'll be stronger, smarter, and more appreciative once it is healed, so in reality.  It is a blessing.  A gift.  My Achilles injury, frustrating as it may be is here to help me, so I am going to love it.  I know . . . that you think that I am high, but I'm not!  It is just that the alternative line of thought is nothing more that a treadmill to nowhere.  

July 1st -- Advice for Others and Myself

Well six months of 2010 are down!!  I can't believe how quickly the time has passed.  Truthfully I thought that the scale would read a lot lower than it does at the moment.  Currently, I a fluctuating between 270 and 275, which is between 46 to 41 pounds lost. In January, I had hoped that I would be passed the 50 pound mark by now.  However, I am currently very happy with my progress.  And I thought that this would be a good time to share my thoughts because I know some people who are fighting this fight along with me and might benefit from me sharing a bit more than the details of my workout.  Also, I know that I need to stop and listen to myself from time to time.  Today I was reading The Fat Man's 180 Day Experiment   and Scott was talking about his injury and feeling discouraged today,and even though I am sure he didn't really need my advice I decided to offer some and as I wrote I just felt like I was talking to myself as much as I was Scott, so I decided to make this post.

 Today I am Sporting the Ankle brace. My Achilles is giving me problems, and it is getting to the point where I may need to shut things down if it doesn't improve over the next week or so. I have had so many tweaks, pulls, and strains over the last 8 months -- it is all part of the journey  Just remember that it will pass and you will be mentally stronger for having gotten past it.   Here are some of the injuries I have encountered along the way:

Strained Hip Flexor

Strained Rotator Cuff

Sprained Middle Finger

Groin Pull

Wisdom Tooth Removal

Strained Neck & Shoulder Blade

Knee and Hamstring Pulls

I am making this list for two reasons.  1) I have gotten past each one of these injuries.  You have to expect injuries when you are over weight, out of shape, and begin a lifestyle change.  The injuries are going to come, but you will move past them. They are part of the process.  In fact they are a pretty good indication that you are getting your body out of it's comfort level and it is resisting.  Of course, you should do everything you can to prevent injuries, but you must push yourself and expect injuries to occur.  2) This process is more about reshaping you mind than it is about reshaping your body.  You have turned the corner when you realize that it is not the external changes that matter but the internal changes.  I had the physical strength to do 50 pushups long before I had the mental strength to do it. 

I know that it is really hard not to focus so much on the scale, but the day to day fluctuations are maddening. Honestly, the scale is a really poor indicator of your effort.  Yes, I want to see the number on the scale get smaller, but I am much more interested in being able to run 5 miles. I won't care what weight I am at when I do that for the first time. I won't care if I am 270 or 265; I'll be happy that I was able to push myself to do it.  We are so focused on the scale that we lose sight of the fact that it is only a number. It is the effort and work that matters. One person's 260 is not the same as another person's.  What is important is how you feel about yourself, and no number is really going to feel as good as the satisfaction that you get from pushing yourself farther than you thought possible.  

It is better to trust your eyes when you look in the mirror than the numbers on the scale.  Take time to stare at yourself in the mirror.  Look at your cheekbones, you shoulder blades, stare deeply into you own eyes, it is not vanity.  It is getting reacquainted with the person that you have wanted always wanted to be.  I can always tell that I am doing good work by the weight I have lost in my face. I'll often wait a few days to shave because the weight loss is really apparent when I shave. And after I have taken notice of that, that is when I will look myself in the eyes and try to assess the more important internal changes.  At the beginning of this post, I said that I thought that scale would be reading a much lower number by now.   But, I am really much more happy with where I am than I could have imagined.  I have put in a lot of hard work and my body has changed a lot, but what makes me most happy is the mental strength and inner peace that I am discovering.  I always thought that I was dissatisfied with my physical appearance and that was why I was unhappy, but I was really dissatisfied with the internal aspects of myself that let me get to where I was physically.