Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Demon that Never Let Lettie Mae Thornton Make Hoecakes

I am in desperate need of a race!  The Krispy Kreme Challenge, which I ran at the beginning of the month doesn't count.  It was a random act of extreme stupidity in which I am happy to say I took part, but it does not satisfy my need for a race.  The last race I ran in was the NHL All Star 5k, which ran while jetlagged out my mind from a 10 hour flight and only six days removed from running The Harold Chapson 8k, so to say that the NHL5k was not a chalked full of nutty goodness great time for me is a vast effin' understatement!  To put it bluntly, it sucked ass.  I showed up, froze my butt off, ran, and went the fuck home.  Therefore, my 8k in Hawaii was really my last honest to goodness race that satisfied the demon living inside me, which compels me to haul my big ass out to to race once a month so I can push myself to my vomit threshold.  Now, my demon is not as big of an asshat as The Demon that never let Lettie Mae Thornton make hoecakes, but trust me they're kin, and he's a Fucker nonetheless!
"Oh, my fuckin' God. Girl, this about to get ugly."

Now, over the course of the last few months, I have come to consider myself a serious runner.  Note, I did not say fast runner.  I am fat not fast, but I am serious!  I think about running all the time.  I train for running.  I read about running.  Given half the chance, I'll talk your ear off about my latest run.  And when I do get to race, I DO NOT dress up in costume, I do not take pictures with my cell phone (OK, I did take pictures with my camera in Hawaii but that was because I was a tourist and allowed to make a jackass of myself), I do not chat/wave to the crowd as I trot by, what I do is try to run myself into the ground.  And, I LOOOOOVE IT!  In fact, you know what I hate most about a race?  Waiting for the volunteer to pull my timing chip off at the end of the race because usually by then I am close the point of either blacking out, vomiting, or wetting myself -- note to insert your own Charlie Sheen Reference at your leisure.

So what am I getting at?  Just this . . . I need a race!  I am signed up for and 8k on March 5th, but my demon is impatient, and 9 days is like nearly as long as Charlie Sheen can take rehab ! So, I have attempted to placating my Demon with two-a-days at the gym.   Yesterday, I took Lisa's Sport's Conditioning Class twice: once in the morning before work and again after.  I was able to get Hiro to do the afternoon class with me, which made it hurt a little less.  We did station with 7 sets of 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds of rest for each exercise.  In the morning class (which is a little longer) we did sprints for the last 5 minutes of class.   We did:

Push ups
Back extension
side plans
side shuffles with weights
shuttle runs
Mt. Climbers on a basketball
Toe tap quad exercise

I was beat by the end of the second class, but you know what . . . this morning, I was still looking to see if I could find a race on Saturday in which to late register.  Haven't done it yet, but really . . .  really want to do it!  The demon says that I can Make some Hoecakes if I register!


  1. OMG, I got tired just reading that.

  2. Ran last night, and I now feel as if I were hit by a truck.