Thursday, April 29, 2010

Weds. Two-a-Day: 4/21 Sports Conditioning, Jump Rope Class, Why I Do What I Do

Weds. morning's sports conditioning class was a struggle. My first class back after the wisdom tooth. I didn't feel good about it at all. But that afternoon, I got an opportunity to go to a Jump Rope Class that I have been wanting to attend for a while now. it is held during my work, so it is hard for me to fit this into my schedule. I have been skipping rope almost daily for several months now, so I was pretty excited about the class. Also, my wife said that she would attend as well. Now, we have been married nearly five years and we dated for a year and a half before that, but in that time, I have not seen her touch a jump rope--let alone use one. For a few weeks now, she has been talking about how good she is with a jump rope. She even started talking a little smack. Now, I had some doubts about just how good she would be, but my wife is much more of a natural athlete than I am, so I didn't think that it would be out of the realm of possibility that she would be ok with it. However, she wasn't just good . . . she rocked! She was able to do a lot of steps that I still struggle with, cross her arms, and in the half hour class I only saw her trip twice! She never fails to amaze me in both small a large ways. The class was really fun. It lasted 30 mins. about 20 mins of skipping and 10 min. of abs.

Even though my wife does not join me in my workouts that often, she really aids me in my attempt to reshape my life. She has supported and encouraged me through a lot of frustrating days. And, I know that she understands that this project is not just a vain attempt to get to lose weight just to look better or just to be healthier. It is an attempt to change the direction of my life. In all honesty, I have been rather dissatisfied with my path for some time now. I am not sure when or why, but at some point over the last ten years, I really lost my way. I stopped taking what I want from life and just accepted the things that were easy. Even going to Japan, as difficult as it may seem, was really my way of escaping a bad relationship and miserable grad school experience. The only thing that I feel I have handled well is my marriage, most of the other aspects of my life have just seemed to oscillate between pointlessness and frustration, but I know that I can right the ship. I know I can but I need to build my confidence, and I need to take charge of myself physically and mentally. And that is what this is all about, my weight has been the longest running and deepest source of disappointment in my life, and I want to take it on because I know that to get the outcome that I want I will need to change so many other aspects of my life that I am sure that I will be more internally transformed than I will be externally. I need to go through this process, and I don't want it to be easy or fast. I want this to be difficult, trying, and something that will present me with every opportunity to quit or take the easy road. I need to stare down these challenges, face injury, pain, and fatigue, and overcome disappointments and failures. The alternative is that I just let life have its way with me, and I quietly hate myself more and more with each passing day until I can enjoy this life that I am privilege to have.

Yesterday was April 28th:

I weighed in at 277.2
Prior to my Wisdom Tooth, I was at 275.2
My starting weight, when stated working out: 316
Weight when I started this Blog: between 285 and 282

1 comment:

  1. I love that y'all are jump roping together!! Y'all should do a jump-off! :) And I am super proud of you -- not only for going to the gym religiously (and, seriously, the other day, you posted about going when I was JUST going to bed!) but also for all the other changes you've made/are making. Yay, you!!